Sunday, August 26, 2012

Top 7 ways to survive car line

car line

Does this look familiar?  Do you spend each weekday afternoon stuck in the dreaded car line?  Don’t fret, I’ve come up with seven sure-fire ways to spice up your afternoon car time


1. Sort socks.  This is the most time consuming part of laundry, especially if your husband wears work socks with tiny designs.  Are those green diamonds or dots? Why the hell can’t ANYONE turn their socks right side out?  Where did the match for this go? I just saw it!  Sock sorting is like a game of Memory.  If you do it in car line, you’ll shorten your to-do list AND sharpen your mind!

laundry-basket of socks


2.  Exercise.  Parents know how hard it is to fit in exercise, especially when we spend one third of our day playing Mom-Taxi.  Do walking lunges around your car or some box jumps onto the hood.  Hold a folded stroller over your head and do squats.  And don’t forget your Kegels!  Or just dead lift your car!  Your buns will rise like a cake!



3.  Sing.  Time to brush up on a little karaoke?  Want to shout out some explicit Eminem lyrics, but always have to consider “the little ears?”  Turn up the volume and wail.  You’ll feel better if you do.



4. Make money.  Bring some suds in the bucket and shine tires for two bucks a pop.  You don’t have to be homeless to wash windshields!  Everyone will think you’re so industrious and they’ll just love the friendly service!

car wash


5.  Pick your nose.  Go ahead, clean the pipes.  Make sure you have tinted windows in your car, and for the love of God, have a tissue handy. 

Nose picker


6. Start a Slow Clap.  When the kids start loading into their cars, open your door, stand up and start a slow clap.  Really put your arms into it - clap loud!  Clap proud!  Soon others will join in while you applaud the children who can buckle their own seat belts!     

buckling seatbelt


7.  Enjoy the silence.  If you’re alone, this may be the only time ALL DAMN DAY you don’t have to listen to anything.  Stare off into space and zone out.  Let your mind wander.  Use this time as a sort of meditation.  Ponder how the hell you got here with your pony tail and capris when it seemed like yesterday you were stomping in the club with your half-shirt and JNCO jeans.  The deep reflection will clear your mind, or depress you.  Either way, you’ll at least have thought your own thoughts for a few minutes.