Saturday, August 25, 2012

How shared custody kills parenting momentum

It sure is hard to keep my parenting momentum going when our week is cut short by the divorce custody schedule. I start each week with gusto, and fall into a steady rhythm of homework, after-school activities and family dinners. Yet each week, I am cut short like a fingernail snipped past the quick. It leaves me feeling tender and exposed. I have yet to find my end-of-the-week groove. When the boys are at their dad’s, I lose my parental footing and often fall short of my mom duties.

I am notoriously bad at signing my name on the “Items needed” list for school functions. I drop my kids off the first part of the week, but never on a Thursday or Friday. Therefore if I sign up to bring in juice boxes on Friday, I am hard pressed to remember – especially because I don’t have my kids with me. Often times I find the signup sheet filled before I get a chance to help. Again, the custody schedule is to blame – or maybe it’s me not adjusting well.

I feel as though I have to squeeze a week’s worth of work into three days. If I decide Sam and I need to work on his “S-words” for his lisp, I have to remember to get it in before he leaves for Dad’s on Wednesday night. If Max needs to bring in a family picture by Friday, I have to remember to bring it by Wednesday morning. My entire life I’ve worked from a 5-day school/work week and in the past year and a half, it has been cut to three.

I’m not adjusting well.

Moving forward, I need to readjust my thinking and train my brain to know my “Kid-week” ends on Wednesday. I need to remind myself that I have a mid-week deadline for all things school related. I have to be a couple days ahead of the game or else I’m liable to forget entirely.

Does anyone else struggle with this same dilemma? If so, how do you deal with it?