Monday, April 28, 2008

Why at the Y

Last week I had to get in the pool during swim lessons for Sam. Essentially, the instructor shows me how to do what she does so that I don't swim with Sam and un-do what he has learned. I plopped my pregnant self in the pool and we had a great lesson. At the end, I lifted Sam up out of the pool and was about to attempt climbing out of the side myself when I realized that I am 8 1/2 months pregnant. Yeah, that's not happening. So I climbed up the metal ladder and it literally creaked under my weight. I was feeling extremely self conscious as my suit clung to my belly, showcasing my new outie belly button. We quickly made our way to the locker room where I changed Sam into dry clothes. There were a few other women changing as well, so I was trying to be as discreet as possible. I peeled my wet suit off when Sam exclaimed, "Mommy! Look at your huge boobies!"

Laughter erupted in the locker room and a few heads even turned. Thanks to some ill-placed mirrors, my swollen pregnant-boobs were on display for all to see.

"Yep. Look at 'em. Mommy is pregnant, Honey. They get big like that."

When I slipped out of my bottoms, I was just waiting for Sam to yell out, "Mommy! Look at your huge ass!"


A friend of mine teaches spin classes at the local YMCA where Sam goes for swim lessons. One day we waited outside the spin room so we could say hi. The students trickled out and we walked in for our greeting. My friend is also pregnant and we see the same obstetrician. During our short conversation, I mentioned our doctor's name and a straggling student immediately spoke up, "You need to get rid of him right away. He is awful."

"Really?" I replied. "I love him!"

"Yeah, you love him at first. He seems great. But then he Baker Acted me for no good reason at all!" She retorted.

What does one possibly say to a comment like that?

Hilarious. Simply hilarious.