Tuesday, June 19, 2007

Pomegranate - Wear to make aware

I have a healthy, happy son. I am blessed to have my miracle baby. He was hard-won and we're trying to give him a sibling. I am 32 years old and have endometriosis. To add insult to injury, I've recently been diagnosed with what seems to be premature ovarian failure. My infertility has worsened since giving birth to Sam. This makes me angry and sad and desperate to move quickly, for whatever window of opportunity I have is quickly closing.

Some may say that I should be happy with what I have - that some women never experience pregnancy or have the end result of a healthy baby. "Never worse than never again," is something a fellow infertile blogger wrote. The news of my failing ovaries blindsided me. I did not have Sam prepared to stop at one. Yes, I enjoyed every milestone of Sam's infancy the best I could, but I did not live it like it was my last. I've always dreamed of two or three children. I want another baby. If that makes me selfish or greedy, then tell that to my heart.

Infertility is lonely. It is all consuming and the emotions it brings are very hard to understand unless you've lived it. The shame, depression and guilt of infertility often cause debilitating silence of the sufferer. No one knows what say. I don't know what else to talk about. I feel so alone. Then I read another post of one of my frequented blogs. The History of Infertility's Common Thread helps women like me to not feel so alone. Please read this blog post that I've pasted below. If you see a man or woman with a pomegranate-colored bracelet on their right wrist, say a prayer for that person that they will overcome their struggles with infertility. Perhaps say a kind word (don't say "Just relax" or "Don't worry!") or just simply acknowledge that you know what the bracelet means.

For anyone who has ever had a miscarriage, struggled with pregnancy, and all things infertile...there is a movement upon us that you might want to join. It's rather simple actually: a discreet ribbon on your right wrist to signal to others that they are not alone in their struggles.

As someone who has had 5 m/c but am currently 5 months pregnant (YEAH), I wonder who looks at my big belly with sadness because they are in the month-to-month struggle. I mentioned to a friend that I wished there was some secret nod or international sign as if to say, this belly was hardwon. Well, she posted this quandary on her blog (http://www.stirrup-queens.blogspot.com/) and the response has been quite overwhelming...and a movement has been born!

The pomegranate-colored thread holds a two-fold purpose: to identify and create community between those experiencing infertility as well as create a starting point for a conversation. Women pregnant through any means, natural or A.R.T., families created through adoption or surrogacy, or couples trying to conceive during infertility or secondary infertility can wear the thread, identifying themselves to others in this silent community. At the same time, the string serves as a gateway to conversations about infertility when people inquire about its purpose. These conversations are imperative if we are ever to remove the social stigma attached to infertility. Tie on the thread because you’re not alone. Wear to make aware. Join us in starting this conversation about infertility by purchasing this pomegranate-coloured thread (#814 by DMC) at any craft, knitting, or variety store such as Walmart or Target. Tie it on your right wrist. Notice it on others. Just thought I would pass the word along!


jencie said...

right there with you. I have endo as well, and was able to have a healthy daughter with IVF and my old job's health insurance. Now, no insurance, no fallopian tubes because of 2 ectopics, low ovarian reserve. I didn't want to stop at 1 either, but sometimes, there's no other choice. People said the same to me, be happy with what you have. Uh, no, it doesn't work that way.