Monday, September 27, 2004


I just bought one of those Mr. Clean Magic Erasers. It removes dirt, smudges and crayon marks from your walls. It even magically erases paint! Wow! Who thought of this?! Whoever they are, they're genius!!

Unfortunately, it can't erase sarcasm. (Sigh) Ah well, they can't think of everything.

Wednesday, September 08, 2004

Caller IQ

Caller ID is outdated. The phone companies should invent Caller IQ. I'd much rather know if the person calling is a dumbass, rather than their name.

Would save me from answering the phone all the time.

Tuesday, September 07, 2004

Being prepared

It's amazing how you think you can be prepared for something, only to find that you are so far out in left field you can't even see home plate.

I tested today for pregnancy. I was so nervous. I didn't want to watch as the shade of pink ran across the test window collecting in the wondrous-two or devastating-one line. I watched anyway.

Of course I'm not pregnant. The lone pink line stared at me, laughing and saying, "Did you actually think I'd give you two? Ha ha, don't be so naive! Don't you know I am the destroyer of dreams? I am here to plummet you further into this infertility-induced depression, you worthless excuse for a woman!"

Really, it just laid there on the counter.

I wasn't surprised. I think this is where the perceived preparedness came in. I just kind of shrugged and said, "Well, we'll try again next month. You were expecting this." I had even repeated to myself as I was peeing on the damn thing, "Don't get disappointed."

So here I am. I am the epitome of disappointment. I am also as un-prepared for this as I can be. I never was good at following directions.

... the tears haven't stopped.

Wednesday, September 01, 2004


So, another hurricane is headed our way. Or so the news is saying. People are running around buying up things like water and Chef Boyardee. I don't get that. How would they heat up their ravoli without power?

This storm is one big bitch.

My parents are on a cruise. Along the way they stopped at Haiti. Well, the cruise ship calls it Labidi, which is really just a fenced-off portion of Haiti. They are due back on Sunday, in Port Canaveral, but I'm not sure they'll end up there. Perhaps they'll dock in Miami and have to be bussed back. My dad is just sick. He has made himself sick with worry. He likes to worry for the sport of it. He is like a black belt in worrying. I told him I'd take care of everything. I'm on my way to their house this afternoon to collect some valuables and important papers. Oh yeah, I'll grab the cats too. You'd think they could make it through the storm in a concrete condo with storm shutters. Pussies.

She always finds the sunshine

The sun shines in my windows. Throughout the day, different windows play host to the sun's rays. They shine in soft and steady, warming spots on the carpet. Specs of dust can been seen floating silently in the air. The warmth stays for a while, before moving westward. No matter where the sunshine is, you'll always find her. Illuminated bright white; warm and sweet.

She is my sunshine.
Posted by Hello

I love this man. Posted by Hello

My first entry

Well, I've gotten off to a great start in my blog with a super creative title! I've been meaning to start this thing for some time now. I think I've missed out on imortalizing some deep thoughts.

I think this Blog is going to be the best forum for me to bitch. I'm not sure I'll even let anyone read it because they might get the impression that all I do is bitch. Or that I am one, even. Not that that would matter too much, but I fear that if I share this, I will censor my thoughts. I really just want to have a one-way bitch session. I mean, isn't that what BLOG means? Bitch and Let it Out, Girl.

So, I'm trying to get pregnant. My husband and I are going through ART, Assisted Reproductive Technology. I was artificially inseminated on August 27, 2004. I have one week before I can take a pregnancy test and I'm officially obsessed. It really is a sickness. I seem to have lost interest in things that I used to enjoy. You know, like hanging out with girl friends and such. It even seems as if I've lost girlfriends. I feel reclusive and alone with my obsession and I quite like it that way. On occasion, I've made an attempt to contact said girlfriends, but it seems that we have little in common anymore. I am just not interested in the guy of the week, or where Sally went on a date. Selfish, really. Can't they just talk about me? ;)

I think mostly, that I feel guilty. I feel like I'm no fun anymore. I can't drink, and I'm not much in the mood for crazy nights out and partying. Wow. I just had a huge dejavue. Amazing. It was really strange. I just re-read the first sentence in this paragraph, and BAM! There it was. I've been here before. Good, I'm on the right path then.

Ok, it doesn't seem like I'm going to get any more interesting in this post. I think this is the official end to my very first entry.